Original ---> At the end of the driveway the world begins. At the end of the driveway the world is going. Kids drift past trees and recycling bins. Kids wander by, their faces glowing. In summer sun and winter storms kids walk to school in their uniforms. Inside their uniforms, their itching skins. Inside their skins, the kids are growing. This girl frowns, this boy ducks his head and grins: not yet seeing, not yet knowing that what’s gone is a new beginning, that what begins is already going fast then faster. Adults, with their set faces, whoosh by in cars to adult places.
My version -----> at the end of the driveway, the world is bright. At the end of the driveway, the world is loud. Kids riding bikes & jumping scooters. Kids on the ground their faces red. In heat & joy Kids run around. Inside their minds, their thinking, what next? Inside them them the kids are happy. This girl looks at us this boy chases his friend, not yet seeing, not yet knowing that whats gone is a new beginning, that what begins is already growing closer then further. Adults with their faces grinning sitting in a row, adult to adult talking.
-Tim Upperton
-Cooper
this was my writing work this week. This is based off my own Street.
